Assure Me of Nothing...
2003-08-24 @ 10:17 p.m.


...and I grabbed ahold of your wrists while we cried together. You asked me to let go, you told me to let go, but I refused. I gripped tighter, and tighter, until you were sure your hands would come right off.

...and you cried for me to let go, and I cried because I couldn't. I couldn't, I wouldn't let myself. I need something to hold on to. I need you to hold on to.

If I let go, I fear I'll float away.

If I let go, I fear I'll leave.

I don't want to go, yet. Not just yet. Nor do I want you to go.

Not yet, not just yet.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

In approximately seven hours, I'll rise to a new day, and with that new day will come high school. School starts tomorrow, and I've been dreading it ever since summer began. Tomorrow I begin my first year of high school, I'll be a dreaded freshman, I'll get picked on, teased, lost, and humiliated in every which way possible. What fun...

I have nothing more to say. School has just been something I hadn't been looking forward to, and on top of that I broke up with my boyfriend the other day. This seems so cliche, I'm sure this has happened to everyone else, or at least it seems so.

Lately I've been incredibly insecure, and now I'm dropped with this. I hate to whine, but this really sucks. I'm not sure what I am anymore, I'm not sure who 'Claudia' is anymore. I just want stability. I want something to hold onto. I want something that I can be sure will be there. I want to be sure of things.

Then again, when is anyone ever sure?

____________

Listening to: "Obstacle 1" by Interpol

<<before - after>>

The Weather Underground - 2008-11-12
- - 2008-05-06
She knows I can read. - 2008-05-06
William Jacobson - 2008-05-02
Lost Boys - 2008-04-30



everything © Claudia (2003-2008)