Lost in Forever
2003-09-21 @ 11:08 p.m.


...and it's one, two, three, and I'm counting the pieces of forever, laid in front of me, neatly, in small piles.

Puzzle pieces, and this is supposed to be some kind of challenge, as I figure what goes where, and when, and how, and with whom they should go with.

I'm tearing at my hair, I'm pulling at my hair, and it seems I've gone crazy in desperation for no apparent reason other than the very thought of going insane.

I'm going insane just thinking of going insane.

Fuck this, and I swing at the piles, the small, neat, little piles of forever laid in front of me. I swing at them with an outstretched arm, and watch as they all fall.

Forever is no more, as I step at it with my worn sneakers, pieces scattered on a dirty floor, a dirt floor.

...and who would have thought we'd have the power to say, I don't care, and simply walk off, as if nothing had happened? Who would have known we don't always need to be prepared for what hasn't happened yet? Who would have known that things are better left unplanned? Untouched? Disorganized? Messy.

I lost my plans for what would have happened tomorrow, I lost them with my mind, and my temper about three minutes ago as I ravaged a few piles of crap, a few piles of shit, a few piles of forever.

Covered in dust, dirt, those puzzle pieces lie, face-down on this floor, this dirt floor, and I'd much rather be surprised with what's going happen tomorrow...

Surprise me.

____________

Listening to: My thoughts of self-doubt.

<<before - after>>

The Weather Underground - 2008-11-12
- - 2008-05-06
She knows I can read. - 2008-05-06
William Jacobson - 2008-05-02
Lost Boys - 2008-04-30



everything © Claudia (2003-2008)