Klutz-o-rama
2003-11-26 @ 10:12 p.m.


God hates me, and I've come to realize this today. I don't believe in a god, so this might cause some conflict, but she obviously does. I've come to this conclusion because of the events that took place while I was at school. Now shut up and read.

My day started out pretty normal, until I got to school at around 7 AM. I take a private bus to get there, and I was seated in one of the brown, sticky seats, talking to a tall, blond, cheerleader friend of mine who shall remain nameless.

On arrival, I looked out the window only to see a friend of mine named Nicole walking into the school building through one of the side entrances. I needed to speak to her, so I rushed out of the bus. Coming down the steps I miss the last one, nearly falling on my face. Little did I know that this would only set off a chain reaction of klutzy moments for me on this fateful day. Sigh.

Later on, after I caught up with Nicole, we went to my tall, blond, cheerleader's [okay, I'm sick of typing that whole thing out. Her name is Katya. It's Russian. Her name, not her] locker. Once in the hall a friend of mine, Andrew, walks past and says 'Hi'. I turn to him and say 'Hey', and turn back to Nicole, with whom I was having a conversation. At this Andrew says, "What, you're too good for me, now?" and I turn to him, say, "I LOVE YOU, DREW!" and hug him, in a very exaggerated manner. As Drew walked away, I turned to the other direction, and I tripped over his foot. Down I went. Right on my ass. On the floor my boobs nearly pop out of my freakin' blouse, and my legs were spread wide open, and all I could really do was laugh. I jumped to my feet, said, in a very drunken voice, "I'm okay! I'm fine! I'm up!" and right when this happens my friend's crush walks by, with this blank stare on his face. He was simply emotionless. That was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Later, before the first late bell of the day rang, I was standing outside of Katya's first period class. She was at the door, holding it open, and I was talking casually with her. I look down the hall, and I see my favorite soccer player, number 22 -the hottest thing in knee-high socks. Being me, I have no clue how to act around guys, so to avoid making eye contact, I look into Katya's class, and I pretend I'm talking to some boy. I was making really dramatic gestures, and I was mouthing, "I can't hear you!" I made a complete ass of myself in front of #22... later my friend informed me that her crush was there, too.

Later that day, in my fifth period class, we were making presentations. I was going to help the girl who sat behind me hold her project up, so I was going to move over to the next row, on the other side of her desk, so I wouldn't be in her way while she presented. I sat on my desk, and swung my legs around to get to the other side, and the next thing I know my foot gets caught on this metal bar that runs along the side of the seat, and I'm down, head-first, onto the ground of the next row. Graceful, no?

After the last bell of the day rang, 2:30, time to go home, I was going to make my way to my language arts class with a friend named Diana for the creative writing club. I walked down the hall where I fell flat on my ass earlier that day, and my friend's crush is at his locker. I walk past him. When I'm almost at the end of the hall, I realize I really don't want to attend the creative writing club meeting, so I tell Diana I didn't want to go. "What?! You have to go! You didn't drag me all the way over here just to ditch me!" was her initial reaction, and I responded, "But, I really don't want to go. I just want to get home." I turn to walk away, and she grabs me by the arm, and says, "C'mon! Just come to the stupid meeting!", and we were playing around at this point. I started screaming, in a very dramatic, sci-fi movie kind of voice, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" A friend of mine, Veronica, walks by and sees the spectacle, so I scream at her, "Veronica, SAVE MEEEE!!!" At this point Veronica and Diana are playing tug-of-war with me. Finally, I scream, "NOOOOO!" once again, and Diana gives up. I'm free to go. Then I realize that my friend's crush was on the opposite side of me, the side opposite where his locker was. I then realized he walked right past when I was screaming the final 'No'. He must think I'm the biggest moron.

I get on my bus again, and I'm going home. The bus driver arrives at my house, and I, groggilly, walk to the front of the vehicle. Walking down the steps, I was too caught up in Conor Oberst's voice coming from my headphones to realize I was placing my feet too close to the edge of each step. I slide down the second step, and past the third and fourth, all the way to the hard pavement that lined 7th street, one of the busiest streets in Miami. My back had slid across all of the steps, so it hurts horribly, but at that moment, as I sat on the ground with the hem of my skirt up at my hips, I laughed. The driver of the bus screamed for someone to help me up, but I did so myself while I pulled my skirt down to where it belonged. I turned to her with a big smile on my face and said I was fine. My back's sore, but that's pretty much it.

My day sucked, but it was rather amusing, so that's okay. Oh, and for those who know what the hell I'm talking about, PCP turned and stared RIGHT at me today during first lunch. Katya and I walked behind him for a bit after that, and he would keep turning to "look at someone who was behind me". Psh. Yeah, sure, my ass.

<<before - after>>

The Weather Underground - 2008-11-12
- - 2008-05-06
She knows I can read. - 2008-05-06
William Jacobson - 2008-05-02
Lost Boys - 2008-04-30



everything © Claudia (2003-2008)