Limitation
2003-11-30 @ 4:39 p.m.


I swam down, under, faster with each breath I couldn't take, as I held the oxygen in my lungs, and I felt a pang of dizziness overcome me. I swam down, fast, into a depth I'd never traveled before, where all was cold and blue and dark. I swam down, faster, kicking my feet harder with each inch I crept lower and I felt the dizziness take me away. I saw color and sound and taste and sensation play forth in my mind. I saw an array of light and dark and cold and hot and loud and soft and contradiction.

It felt like the end of the world when I closed my eyes. It felt like the end of the world when I turned the nobs all the way and let the tap run in my tub and overflow past the edges that were intended to keep the water in. It felt like the end of the world when I took a breath, puffed my cheeks, and let myself fall into the warmth of this water. It felt like the end of the world when my lungs seemed to collapse inside my chest.

It was the end of the world when I had to come up. I had to...

Oxygen limits my sensation.

Oxygen is my limitation.



<<before - after>>

The Weather Underground - 2008-11-12
- - 2008-05-06
She knows I can read. - 2008-05-06
William Jacobson - 2008-05-02
Lost Boys - 2008-04-30



everything © Claudia (2003-2008)